Italian turist in Malta

(A hotel in Malta)

Pasquale: may I have two pieces of toast, please?

Waitress with only one piece of toast:

waitress: here you are!

Pasquale: I want two pieces

Waitress: go to the toilet then!

Pasquale: you don’t understand, I want two pieces on my plate!

Waitress: you’d better go to the toilet, stupid!

Pasquale: this lady doesn’t even know me and calls me  “stupid”

(A bigger restaurant)

Waiter bringing a spoon and a knife but no fork:

waiter:  good evening, sir

Pasquale: good evening

Waiter: have you decided, sir?

Pasquale: I want a fork

Waiter: everyone wants to do that

Pasquale: you don’t understand me. I want a fork on the table

Waiter: you’d better not to do it on the table, you big stupid.

Pasquale: why they all call me stupid?

( in the hotel room the bed has no sheets)

Pasquale: hello? There are no sheets on my bed. Can I speak to the manager, please?

Manager: hello? What’s the matter?

Pasquale: I want a sheet

Manager: go to the toilet!

Pasquale: you don’t understand. I want a sheet on my bed!

Manager: you’d better not to shit on your bed, you big stupid

Pasquale: I’m fed up, I will go back home

(Check out)

Receptionist: peace on you, sir

Pasquale: piss on you too, you big stupid. I want to go back to Italy